The Following are my “Jokes of Today”. I hope they lift your Spirits.
Best Last Kiss
A group of bikers were riding along when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge. So they stopped.
Their leader, Spike, got off his Harley and said, ”Hey, baby, what are you doing up there on that railing?”
She says tearfully, “I’m going to commit suicide!”
Spike asked, “Well, before you jump, honey babe…why don’t you have your best last kiss?”
So with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that. And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, Spike got a big thumbs-up approval from his biker buddies, the onlookers, and even the state trooper.
Spike said, “Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That’s a real talent you’re wasting there, sugar shorts. You could be famous, if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?”
“My parents so upset when I dress-up like a girl.”
It’s still unclear whether he/she jumped or was pushed.
Bad Day
Q: How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?
A: She can’t find her pencil, and her tampon is behind her ear.
Mice
A family of mice were surprised by a big cat.
The Father Mouse jumped up and said, “Bowwow!”
The cat ran away.
“What was that, Father?” asked the Baby Mouse.
“Well, son, that’s why it’s important to learn a second language.”
Q&A
Q. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
A. Ten tickles.
Q. What happened when the cheese factory exploded?
A. Da brie was everywhere.
Q. What has ears but cannot hear?
A. A cornfield.
Q. What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?
A. A bowl full of mice-cream.
Message Therapy
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground, and rolled around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.
“Please allow me to help. I’m a massage therapist, and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me,” she told him.
“Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,” the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants, and put her hands inside.
She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, “How does that feel?”
He replied, “It feels great. But I still think my thumb’s still broken!”
Q&A
Q. Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon?
A. Decent food, but no atmosphere.
Q. What is the chiropractor’s favorite music?
A. Hip-pop.
Rose
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”
The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?”
The first man thought and thought and finally said,
“What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that’s red and has thorns.”
“Do you mean a rose?”
“Yes, that’s the one,” replied the man.
He then turned toward the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”
Q&A
Q. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up?
A. It was “two-tired.”
Q. What did the policeman say to his hungry stomach?
A. Freeze. You’re under a vest.
NEW JOKE BOOK
Great News!
Jack has just published a “Joke Book”
It is called: “Pe’Pa’s Best Jokes” and is available on Amazon.com in three volumes in both paperback and Kindle.
Brighten someone’s day with a LAUGH!!!!!!
Each volume is just $9.95 in paperback (available in 3 days) or $6.00 in Kindle (available immediately).
Available FOR A GIFT. All you need is an e-mail address or a street address.
Who do you know that could use a joke????????
Pe'Pa's Best Jokes 
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