Same Reason
Man: Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the
same reason
Woman: Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!
Q&A
Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye?
A: Between us, something smells!
Skinny-Dipping
One evening, an old farmer decides to go down to his
pond to check on things
As he gets closer, he hears loud giggling coming from
the pond. He is shocked to fi nd a bunch of young women
skinny-dipping
“Hey, what’s going on here?” he shouts.
All of the women scream in shock and swim to the deep
end of the pond. One of the women shouted to the farmer,
“We’re not coming out until you leave, you pervert.
The old man replies, “I didn’t come down here to watch
you ladies swim or see you naked. I’m here to feed the
alligator.”
Q&A
Q: What do you call a guy who’s really loud?
A: Mike.
Chiropractor
A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office.
Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders,
back, and neck The lawyer turns around “What the hell
do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m a chiropractor, and I’m just keeping in practice
while I’m waiting in line.”
“Well, I’m a lawyer, but you don’t see me screwing the
guy in front of me, do you?”
Where
Did you hear about the eighty-three-year-old woman
who talked herself out of a speeding ticket?
She told the officer that she had to get somewhere
before she forgot where she was going.
Politician
A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything
except office.
Anesthesia
A man had never had surgery before, and he was waiting
in the hospital nervously
“This is a very simple, noninvasive procedure,” the doctor
assured him.”
“That makes me feel a little better,” the man said,
“Heck,” the doctor continues, “you have a better chance
of dying from the anesthesia than the surgery itself.”
Gas
An old woman visits the doctor
“Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t
bother me too much It never smells and is always silent
As a matter of fact, I farted at least ten times since I’ve
been here in your office, and you didn’t know I was farting
because it doesn’t smell, and it’s silent.”
The doctor says, “I see, Mary Ann Take these pills and
come back and see me in a week.”
The next week Mary Ann returns to the doctor She
says, “I don’t know what the heck you gave me but my
farts, although still silent, stink terribly.”
“Good,” the doctor says. “Now that we’ve cleared up
your sinus, let’s work on your hearing.”
Twentieth Reunion
An engineer and a psychologist meet up for their twentieth
college reunion
The engineer says, “I’m surprised to see you still looking
so young. I’d have thought listening to people’s problems
all day would have gotten you a mass of wrinkles.”
The psychiatrist replies, “You think we listen?”
lawyer
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of one hundred?
A: Your Honor.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of fifty?
A: Senator.
Psychiatrist
A psychiatrist had to have a talk with his receptionist
“Just say that we’re very busy,” he said.
“Please stop telling people that it’s a madhouse.”
NEW JOKE BOOK
Great News!
Jack has just published a “Joke Book”
It is called: “Pe’Pa’s Best Jokes” and is available on Amazon.com in three volumes in both paperback and Kindle.
Brighten someone’s day with a LAUGH!!!!!!
Each volume is just $9.95 in paperback (available in 3 days) or $6.00 in Kindle (available immediately).
Available FOR A GIFT. All you need is an e-mail address or a street address.
Who do you know that could use a joke????????
Pe'Pa's Best Jokes 
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