Pe'Pa's Best Jokes

VOLUMES 1 & 2 ARE FUNNY FOR EVERYONE

I hope they lift Spirits for you and your children.

Convict

A gal walked into her favorite bar in Florida. After a few minutes, a handsome guy came in and sat next to her.

She said, “I haven’t seen you here before. Is this your first visit?”

The man said, “No, but I haven’t been back in twenty years.”

She said, “Twenty years? Why so long?”

He said, “Well, I’ve been in prison.”

“Prison,” she said. “Do you mind telling me why?”

The guy said, “Well I’m not proud of it, but I killed my wife.”

The gal said with a smile, “Oh, so you’re single.”

Rocking Chair

A woman is walking down the street and sees an old-timer on a porch in a rocking chair rocking back and forth with a huge smile on his face.

She stops and says, “Sir, would you mind telling me the secret to your longevity and your happiness?”

He says, “Well, I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day. I drink a case of whiskey every week. I eat all the fatty foods that I want, and I never exercise.”

“That’s remarkable,” she says. “If you don’t mind me asking, sir, how old are you?”

He proudly replied, “I’m twenty-seven.”

Dwarf
A man was driving in bumper-to-bumper traffic. He wasn’t paying attention, and he bumped the car in front of him. He didn’t really do any damage, but he did hit the car.

Slowly the other driver got out of his car, and the man could see that the other driver was really short. He was actually a dwarf!

The dwarf pounded over to the man’s car, looked up at him, and shouted, ‘”I am not happy!”

So the man looked down at him and said, ‘Well then—which one are you?”

Bank Hold-Up

A man holds-up a bank. After he has the money, the bank robber lines up the hostages and asks the first one, “Did you see me hold up the bank?”

The man says, “Well, sure I did,” and the bank robber shoots him.”

The bank robber then asks the second man, “Did you see me hold up the bank?”

The man says, “No, no, no. I didn’t see a thing. But my wife here, she sees everything.”

Caddie

Clyde was twenty-four over par by the eighth hole. He had landed a dozen balls in the water hazard and dug himself into a trench, fighting his way out of the rough.

When the caddy coughed during a one-foot putt, Clyde exploded. “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world, he screamed.”

“I doubt it,” replied the caddy. “That would be too much of a coincidence.”

Boots

A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of boots she loves.

The husband says, “No chance, love. They’re way too expensive.”

Later on in bed, the wife is just falling asleep. The husband tries his luck and places his hand on her hip and lower on her thigh.

She turns to him and says, “I don’t think so, mate. If you’re not prepared to shoe a horse, then you’re sure as hell aren’t riding it.”

GO TO: Pe’Pa’s Best Jokes

 JOKE BOOKS for EVERYONE

“Pe’Pa’ – Jack” has published two Joke Books          

FOR YOU & YOUR CHILDREN

It is called: Pe’Pa’s Best Jokes Volumes 1 & 2 and are available on Amazon.com                                            in both paperback and Kindle.

Brighten your day with LAUGHTER !!!!!!

Keep a volume on your nightstand to start your day with a smile.

Keep both volumes on your coffee table to entertain your guests.

Each volume is just $9.95 in paperback (available in 3 days) or $6.00 in Kindle (available immediately).

Available for a GIFT. All you need is an e-mail address or a street address.