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LARGER BREASTS
99 cents for ALL “Pe’Pa’s” JOKE BOOKS
Politics
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”
The dad says, “Well, son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism. Your mother, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the people. The nanny, we’ll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense.”
The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.”
The father says, “Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.”
The little boy replies, “Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored, and the future is in deep shit.”
Larger Breasts
Fresh out of the shower, a woman stood in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts were too small.
Instead of telling her it isn’t true, he comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.”
Willing to try anything, she fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror again, rubbing it between her breasts.
“How long will this take?” she asks.
“They’ll grow larger over a period of years,” her husband replies.
“Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make them larger?”
“It worked for your butt, didn’t it?”
*****************************************************************
Pe’Pa is having a 99 ₵ SALE to promote ALL of his “Pe’Pa’s Best Jokes” to receive some 5 Star Reviews.
DAY 1 – Go to Amazon.com and buy the Kindle version of each of my joke books – so that a “Purchase Verified” Review can be posted the next day.
DAY 2 – Go back to Amazon, click on the book cover, scroll way down to the bottom of the page to “Product details”. Click on the “# ratings” (next to the stars). You will see all of my reviews. Post your review. (Use your first name and initial of last name, so I will know it is you.) Do this for all 4 books.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for yourself.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on ALL joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please also review Volumes 1, 2, 3, & 4.
Just “click” on the book cover to buy!
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
-
Q: What is brown and hairy and wears sunglasses?
99 cents for NEW “KIDS” JOKE BOOK
Q: What is brown and hairy and wears sunglasses?
A: A coconut on vacation!
Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: Time to get a new fence!
Q: What did the apple say to the worm?
A: Nothing, apples can’t talk!
Q: What musical instrument can you find in the
bathroom?
A: A tuba toothpaste!
Q: What do you call a dinosaur with bad vision?
A: A Do-you-think-he-sarus!
Q: What do you get when you cross a centipede with
a parrot?
A: A walkie talkie!
Q: Which dinosaur has the best vocabulary?
A: The thesaurus!
**************************************************************************************************************
Pe’Pa’ is having a 99₵ SALE to promote his just published volume 4 – “Pe’Pa’s Beast Kids Jokes” and he needs some 5 Star Reviews.
We have just reduced the price of the kindle version of my new “KID’S” joke book from $9.00 to 99 cents in the hope that you will like it so much that you will write a “Book Review” for me an Amazon.com.
DAY 1 – Go to Amazon.com and buy the Kindle version of each of my joke books – so that a “Purchase Verified” Review can be posted the next day.
DAY 2 – Go back to Amazon.com, click on the book cover, scroll way down to the bottom of the page to “Product details”. Click on the “# ratings” (next to the stars). You will see all of my reviews. Post your review. (Use your first name and initial of last name, so I will know it is you.) Do this for all 4 books.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for your kids.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on my other joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please review Volumes 1, 2, 3 & 4.
JUST ‘CLICK’ ON THE BOOK COVER TO BUY
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
-
Dad: “Can I see your report card, son?”
99 cents for ALL “Pe’Pa’s” JOKE BOOKS
Father
Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on.
Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad.
Parenting
Being a parent means knowing how to unwrap a candy bar without making any noise.
Scared
Dad: “Can I see your report card, son?”
Son: “I don’t have it.”
Dad: “Why?”
Son: “I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents.”Double
A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.”
The barman says, “Wow, you must have had one hell of a day.”
“Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay.”
The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six more double vodkas. When the bartender asks what’s wrong, the man says, “I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!”
On the third day, the guy comes into the bar and orders another six double vodkas. The bartender says, “Jesus! Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?”
The man downs the first drink and shakes his head, “Yeah, my wife!”
Love Me
A wife asked her husband, “Honey, will you still love me when I am old and overweight?”
The man replied, “Yes, I do.”
*****************************************************************
Pe’Pa is having a 99 ₵ SALE to promote ALL of his “Pe’Pa’s Best Jokes” to receive some 5 Star Reviews.
DAY 1 – Go to Amazon.com and buy the Kindle version of each of my joke books – so that a “Purchase Verified” Review can be posted the next day.
DAY 2 – Go back to Amazon, click on the book cover, scroll way down to the bottom of the page to “Product details”. Click on the “# ratings” (next to the stars). You will see all of my reviews. Post your review. (Use your first name and initial of last name, so I will know it is you.) Do this for all 4 books.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for yourself.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on ALL joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please also review Volumes 1, 2, 3, & 4.
Just “click” on the book cover to buy!
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
-
Q: What’s the difference between boogers and
broccoli?
99 cents for ALL “Pe’Pa’s” JOKE BOOKS
BOOGERS
Q: What’s the difference between boogers and
broccoli?
A: Kids don’t eat broccoli!
Sermon
A new priest does his first mass. He is very nervous, and he stammers his way through.
Afterwards, he approaches the monsignor to ask how he thought it went. “Well,” says the monsignor, “try a little wine before you do your next mass.”
So the next time the priest delivers a real fire-and-brimstone sermon, after which he asks the monsignor, “How did I do this time?”
The fellow clergyman replies, “You did well, son, but I need to clear up a few of your misconceptions.”
“First off, it was the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit, not ‘Big Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.’
“Next, David slew Goliath; he didn’t ‘whip the shit out of him.’
“And last of all we are planning a taffy-pulling contest here at St. Peter’s, not a ‘Peter-pulling contest at St. Taffy.’”
Subject
A bank robber pulls out a gun, points it at the teller, and says, “Give me all the money or you’re geography!”
The puzzled teller replies, “Did you mean to say, ‘Or you’re history’?”
The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!”
Fishing
One fine day, a priest, a rabbi, and a minister decide to all go fishing. They manage to get to the water, and off they go.
One hour later, the minister says, “I think I forgot the food!” He steps off the boat, walks across the water, gets the picnic basket, and walks back!
Then, the rabbi says, “Oy vey! I forgot the drinks.” He steps right off the boat and walks across the water to get the drinks.
By this time, the priest is very frustrated! He excuses himself, and as he steps out of the boat, he falls in the water.
The minister turns to the rabbi and says, “You think we should have told him about the rocks?”
Best Friend
If you want to know who is really man’s best friend, put your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car, come back an hour later, open the trunk, and see which one is happy to see you.
Bird
Teacher: “Name a bird with wings but can’t fly.”
Student: “A dead bird, sir.”*****************************************************************
Pe’Pa is having a 99 ₵ SALE to promote ALL of his “Pe’Pa’s Best Jokes” to receive some 5 Star Reviews.
DAY 1 – Go to Amazon.com and buy the Kindle version of each of my joke books – so that a “Purchase Verified” Review can be posted the next day.
DAY 2 – Go back to Amazon, click on the book cover, scroll way down to the bottom of the page to “Product details”. Click on the “# ratings” (next to the stars). You will see all of my reviews. Post your review. (Use your first name and initial of last name, so I will know it is you.) Do this for all 4 books.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for yourself.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on ALL joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please also review Volumes 1, 2, 3, & 4.
Just “click” on the book cover to buy!
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
-
Q: What did one eye say to the other eye?
99 cents for NEW “KIDS” JOKE BOOK
Q: What did one eye say to the other eye?
A: Between us, something smells!
Q: What did the sink say to the toilet?
A: Wow, you look really flushed!
Q: What did the traffic light say to the car?
A: Look away, I’m about to change!
Q: What has more letters than the alphabet?
A: The post office!
Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: A sunburned zebra!
Q: What runs around a baseball field but never moves?
A: A fence!
Q: What’s the difference between boogers and
broccoli?
A: Kids don’t eat broccoli!
*************************************************************
Pe’Pa’ is having a 99₵ SALE to promote his just published volume 4 – “Pe’Pa’s Beast Kids Jokes” and he needs some 5 Star Reviews.
We have just reduced the price of the kindle version of my new “KID’S” joke book from $9.00 to 99 cents in the hope that you will like it so much that you will write a “Book Review” for me on Amazon.com.
DAY 1 – Go to Amazon.com and buy the Kindle version of each of my joke books – so that a “Purchase Verified” Review can be posted the next day.
DAY 2 – Go back to Amazon.com, click on the book cover, scroll way down to the bottom of the page to “Product details”. Click on the “# ratings” (next to the stars). You will see all of my reviews. Post your review. (Use your first name and initial of last name, so I will know it is you.) Do this for all 4 books.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for your kids.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on my other joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please review Volumes 1, 2, 3 & 4.
JUST ‘CLICK’ ON THE BOOK COVER TO BUY
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
-
Q: Why wasn’t Jesus born in Rhode Island?
99 cents for ALL “Pe’Pa’s” JOKE BOOKS
Born
Q: Why wasn’t Jesus born in Rhode Island?
A: God couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.Explorer
An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and in the center of the tomb, there’s a lamp. He picks it up, and as he starts to rub the dirt off of it, a genie comes out of the lamp and says, “I want to know the person you hate the most.”
The explorer says, “That’s got to be my ex-wife. Why?”
“I am a cursed genie. I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish for, your ex-wife will get double that amount.”
“Okay, I wish for a billion dollars.”
“Granted, but your ex-wife gets two billion dollars.”
“I wish for a mansion in California with a swimming pool, and tennis courts, everything.”
“Granted, and your ex-wife gets two.”
“Now make your final wish.” The explorer walks around for a few minutes, returns to the genie with a stick, and says, “You see this stick? I’d like you to beat me half to death.”
Move
Q: What did Gandhi say to the British, after they asked him to move?
A: Nah, mastay.Betty
A woman was nagging her husband to cut the grass, to which the husband answered, “What do I look like to you? A landscaper?”
Next time the sink was dripping, she asked him again, “Honey, can you fix the faucet?”
The husband replied, “What do I look like to you? A plumber?”
Two days later, a light bulb went out, and she begged him again, “Honey, can you change the light bulb?”
His reply was, “What am I? An electrician?!”
A few days later, the husband comes home from work to find that the lawn is cut, the faucet is fixed, and the light bulb is changed.
Very surprised, he says, “Honey, what happened here?”
The wife replies, “You know our new next-door neighbor? He came over and fixed everything.”
The husband says, “Honey, how did you pay him?”
“Oh, you know,” the wife says, “he told me that I could either bake him a cake or have sex with him.”
Somewhat relieved the husband asks, “Whew, so what kind of a cake did you bake for him?”
The wife replies, “Who do you think I am? Betty Crocker?”
*****************************************************************
Pe’Pa is having a 99 ₵ SALE to promote ALL of his “Pe’Pa’s Best Jokes” to receive some 5 Star Reviews.
DAY 1 – Go to Amazon.com and buy the Kindle version of each of my joke books – so that a “Purchase Verified” Review can be posted the next day.
DAY 2 – Go back to Amazon, click on the book cover, scroll way down to the bottom of the page to “Product details”. Click on the “# ratings” (next to the stars). You will see all of my reviews. Post your review. (Use your first name and initial of last name, so I will know it is you.) Do this for all 4 books.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for yourself.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on ALL joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please also review Volumes 1, 2, 3, & 4.
Just “click” on the book cover to buy!
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
-
Q: How do you talk to a giant?
99 cents for NEW “KIDS” JOKE BOOK
Q: Which bird is always out of breath?
A: A puffi n!
Q: What’s a witch’s favorite school subject?
A: Spelling!
Q: How do you talk to a giant?
A: Use big words!
Q: Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
A: The baa-baa shop!
Q: What do you call a dinosaur that wears glasses?
A: Tyrannosaurus Specs
Q: What do you call a line of rabbits jumping
backwards?
A: A receding hare-line!
Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck!
*************************************************************
Pe’Pa’ is having a 99₵ SALE to promote his just published volume 4 – “Pe’Pa’s Beast Kids Jokes” and he needs some 5 Star Reviews.
We have just reduced the price of the kindle version of my new “KID’S” joke book from $9.00 to 99 cents in the hope that you will like it so much that you will write a “Book Review” for me an Amazon.com.
DAY 1 – Go to Amazon.com and buy the Kindle version of each of my joke books – so that a “Purchase Verified” Review can be posted the next day.
DAY 2 – Go back to Amazon, click on the book cover, scroll way down to the bottom of the page to “Product details”. Click on the “# ratings” (next to the stars). You will see all of my reviews. Post your review. Do this for all 4 books.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
- Please ask your spouse/best friend to do the same.
- Consider buying a paperback copy of each to keep on your coffee table to entertain your friends.
- Remember: Joke books make a great gift
Consider buying a paperback copy for your kids.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on my other joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please review Volumes 1, 2, 3 & 4.
JUST ‘CLICK’ ON THE BOOK COVER TO BUY
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
-
Q: What do dog poo and women have in common?
99 cents for ALL “Pe’Pa’s” JOKE BOOKS
Teacher
A teacher asks a student, “Are you ignorant or just apathetic?”
The kid answers, “I don’t know and I don’t care.”
Faithful
A man is only as faithful as his options.
Poo
Q: What do dog poo and women have in common?
A: The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.
Sister
A husband asks his wife, “Will you marry after I die?”
The wife responds, “No, I will live with my sister.”
The wife asks him back, “Will you marry after I die?”
The husband responds, “No, I will also live with your sister.”
Watching
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, “Only take one. God is watching.” Further down the line is a pile of cookies.
A little boy makes his own note: “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”
Mothers
Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!********************************************************************************************************
Pe’Pa is having a 99 ₵ SALE to promote ALL of his “Pe’Pa’s Best Jokes” to receive some 5 Star Reviews.
DAY 1 – Go to Amazon.com and buy the Kindle version of each of my joke books – so that a “Purchase Verified” Review can be posted the next day.
DAY 2 – Go back to Amazon, click on the book cover, scroll way down to the bottom of the page to “Product details”. Click on the “# ratings” (next to the stars). You will see all of my reviews. Post your review. (Use your first name and initial of last name, so I will know it is you.)
Do this for all 4 books.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for yourself.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on ALL joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please review Volumes 1, 2, 3, & 4.
Just “click” on the book cover to buy!
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
-
Why did the teddy bear not ask for dessert?
99 cents for NEW “KIDS” JOKE BOOK
Q: What do you call a train with a cold?
A: A-choo choo train!
Q: Where do elephants pack their clothes?
A: In their trunks!
Q: What do you call a fl y without wings?
A: A walk!
Q: What do you call a duck that gets straight-As?
A: A wise quacker!
Q: Why do giraffes have such long necks?
A: Because they have smelly feet!
Q: What did the cop say to their tummy?
A: You’re under a vest!
Q: Why did the teddy bear not ask for dessert?
A: Because he was already so stuffed!
Pe’Pa’ is having a 99₵ SALE to promote his just published volume 4 – “Pe’Pa’s Beast Kids Jokes” and he needs some 5 Star Reviews.
We have just reduced the price of the kindle version of my new “KID’S” joke book from $9.00 to 99 cents in the hope that you will like it so much that you will write a “Book Review” for me an Amazon.com.
Go to Amazon.com. Click on the book cover. Select the Kindle version and buy for 99 ₵. Scroll to the bottom of the page and write a review for me.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for your kids.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on my other joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please review Volumes 1, 2, 3 & 4.
JUST ‘CLICK’ ON THE BOOK COVER TO BUY
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
-
Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of sixty?
99 cents for ALL “Pe’Pa’s” JOKE BOOKS
IQ
Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of sixty?
A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!School
It was the first day of school. Harry’s mother went into his bedroom and said, “Come on, Harry, get up now. You have to go to school today.”
“But I don’t want to go to school,” replied Harry. “I want to stay in bed. Why do I have to go to school?”
“Because,” answered his mother, “you’re a teacher!”
Golfing
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office, and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon’s activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8:00 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt.
Confused, she nonetheless complied, and he slipped into his shoes and drove home.
“Where have you been?” demanded his wife when he entered the house.
“Darling,” replied the man, “I can’t lie to you. I’ve been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn’t wake up until eight o’clock.”
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, “You liar! You’ve been playing golf!”
Names
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, “What are your parents’ names?”
The student replied, “My father’s name is Laughing, and my mother’s name is Smiling.”
The teacher said, “Are you kidding?”
The student said, “No, Kidding is my brother. I am Joking.”
Barbie
Ralph is driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it’s his daughter’s birthday and he hasn’t bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, “How much is that Barbie in the window?”
In a condescending manner, she says, “Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00.”
Ralph asks, “Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?”
“That’s obvious,” the saleslady says. “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture…”
*******************************************************
Pe’Pa is having a 99 ₵ SALE to promote ALL “Pe’Pa’sBest Jokes” to receive some 5 Star Reviews.
Go to Amazon.com. Click on the book cover. Select the Kindle version and buy. Scroll to the bottom of the page and write a review for me.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for yourself.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on ALL joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please also review Volumes 1, 2, 3, & 4.
Just “click” on the book cover to buy!
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
Pe'Pa's Best Jokes
I am now in my eightieth year. I’ve liked telling jokes since I was a youth. I guess, basically, I like making people laugh. When I first moved to Florida, I used to go every Saturday night to an Italian restaurant around the corner from my condo—not so much for the great food, but because of the pretty blond waitress. Her name was Sasha, and she had the sexiest Russian accent. She was fifty years too young for me, but a guy can dream. One night I told her my talking dog story: A man was walking down the street, and he saw a dog on somebody’s front lawn. Next to the dog was a sign. It said Talking Dog for Sale. The man looked at the sign, looked at the dog, and said, “I don’t believe it.” The dog spoke up and said, “Oh yes, it’s true. I’ve been able to speak since I was just a pup. A matter of fact, I’ve had a long career as a spy. They ship me off to conferences. I sit in the corner like I’m taking a nap, and I remember everything and come back and tell my handlers.” The guy said, “That’s fantastic. Why are they selling you?” The dog said, “I don’t know.” The guy went up to the door and knocked. Somebody came. The guy said, “Is this your dog?” The man said, “Yes.” The man asked, “How much do you want for him?” “Ah, you can have him for twenty dollars.” “Twenty bucks for a talking dog? Why so cheap?” the man asked. The owner said, “That dog’s a liar. He’s never been out of the front yard.” When I got to the part about the dog saying, “Oh yes, it’s true. I’ve been able to speak since I was just a pup,” Sasha held up her hand and said, “Is this a true story?” I haven’t dreamed about her since, and I haven’t been back to that restaurant again. I’ve tried to make this book G-rated. Although I like a good dirty joke, I have resisted including them here. I’ve also eliminated any jokes that might be considered racist, and I have stopped telling them. I hope that you enjoy this book. If you can improve on any of my jokes, let me know, and I might include your improvements in my next edition. Also, if you want to share a favorite joke, please send it to me. My e-mail address is ProValueBooks@outlook.com.
Pe'Pa's Best Jokes 