-
Q: How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?
99 cents for NEW “KIDS” JOKE BOOK
Q: How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?
A: By its bark!
Q: What do astronauts do before throwing a party?
A: They planet!
Q: Why are elevator jokes so good?
A: They work on many levels!
Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm in your apple!
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t
come back?
A: A stick!
Q: What do you call a bear with no ears?
A: A “B!”
Q: What do pirates pay for corn?
A: A buck an ear!
Pe’Pa’ is having a 99₵ SALE to promote his just published volume 4 – “Pe’Pa’s Beast Kids Jokes” and he needs some 5 Star Reviews.
We have just reduced the price of the kindle version of my new “KID’S” joke book from $9.00 to 99 cents in the hope that you will like it so much that you will write a “Book Review” for me an Amazon.com.
Go to Amazon.com. Click on the book cover. Select the Kindle version and buy for 99 ₵. Scroll to the bottom of the page and write a review for me.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for your kids.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on my other joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please review Volumes 1, 2, 3 & 4.
JUST ‘CLICK’ ON THE BOOK COVER TO BUY
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
-
99 cents for ALL “Pe’Pa’s” JOKE BOOKS
Funny
PMS jokes aren’t funny. Period.
Men
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Emotions
Men have two emotions, hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Knock
Whoever invented knock-knock jokes should get a “no-bell” prize.
Why is it that your nose runs, but your feet smell?
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.Lottery
A man asks his wife, “What would you do if I won the lottery?”
His wife says, “Take half and leave your ass!”
The man replies, “Great! I won twelve bucks. Here’s six. Now get out!”
Beautiful
Johnny’s teacher told the class to say a sentence using the word beautiful twice.
A girl sitting next to Johnny said, “My mother put on a beautiful dress, and she looked beautiful in it.”
The teacher said, “Very good.”
********************************************************************************************************
Pe’Pa is having a 99 ₵ SALE to promote ALL of his “Pe’Pa’s Best Jokes” to receive some 5 Star Reviews.
Go to Amazon.com. Click on the book cover. Select the Kindle version and buy. Scroll to the bottom of the page and write a review for me.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for yourself.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on ALL joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please also review Volumes 1, 2, 3, & 4.
Just “click” on the book cover to buy!
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
-
Q: Why was the broom late?
99 cents for NEW “KIDS” JOKE BOOK
Q: Why was the broom late?
A: It over-swept!
Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?
A: Write on!
Q: What do you call a belt made of watches?
A: A waist of time!
Q: Where do sailboats go when they’re sick?
A: To the dock!
Q: How does the moon cut his hair?
A: Eclipse it!
Q: What do you do when a lemon gets sick?
A: You give it lemon-aid!
Q: What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
A: Hailing taxis!
Pe’Pa is having a 99 ₵ SALE to promote his just published volume 4 – “Pe’Pa’s Beast Kids Jokes” and he needs some 5 Star Reviews.
We have just reduced the price of the kindle version of my new “KID’S” joke book from $9.00 to 99 cents in the hope that you will like it so much that you will write a “Book Review” for me an Amazon.com.
Go to Amazon.com. Click on the book cover. Select the Kindle version and buy for 99 ₵. Scroll to the bottom of the page and write a review for me.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for your kids.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on my other joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please review Volumes 1, 2, 3 & 4.
JUST ‘CLICK’ ON THE BOOK COVER TO BUY
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
-
The teacher said, “Today’s class is going be about animals.
99 cents for ALL “Pe’Pa’s” JOKE BOOKS
E-Elephant
The teacher said, “Today’s class is going be about animals. I’m going give you a letter, and I want you to tell me what animal’s name begins with that letter. But please raise your hand and wait until I recognize you before giving me the answer.”
So the teacher said, “E.”
And Johnny jumped up and hollered out, “Elephant!”
And the teacher said, “The answer is correct, but I asked you to please wait till I call on you.”
She then said, “T.”
And Johnny jumped up again and said, “Two elephants!”
The teacher said, “Go to the principal’s office.”
Just as Johnny was going out the door, the teacher said “M.”
And Johnny hollered, “Maybe an elephant.”
Dead Dog
Grandma and Grandpa are trying to console Jill, whose dog BA has died.
“You know,” Grandma said, “it’s not so bad. BA is probably up in heaven right now having a grand old time with God.”
Jill stops crying and asks, “What would God want with a dead dog?”
Blind Man
A blind man with his seeing eye dog walked into a bar.
He picked up the dog by its tail and swung it around and around over his head.
The bartender ran up and asked, “Dude! What are you doing?”
The blind man replied, “Just looking around.”
Words
A boy was at school, and his teacher asked him to learn three new words over the weekend.
His father was a pilot and taught him the word takeoff. His mother is a zookeeper and taught him the word zebra. His big sister was going to have a baby and taught him the word baby. He went to school the next day and his teacher asked,
“What are your three words?”
The boy said, “Takeoff zebra baby.”
****************************************************************
Pe’Pa is having a SALE to promote ALL of his “Pe’Pa’s Beast Jokes” to receive some 5 Star Reviews.
Go to Amazon.com. Click on the book cover. Select the Kindle version and buy. Scroll to the bottom of the page and write a review for me.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for yourself.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on ALL joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please also review Volumes 1, 2, 3, & 4.
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
-
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
99 cents for NEW “KIDS” JOKE BOOK
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
A: Because she’s always running away from the ball!
Q: What does a rain cloud wear under its clothes?
A: Thunderwear!
Q: Why do vampires seem sick all the time?
A: Because they’re always coffi n!
Q: How do you get an astronaut’s baby to stop crying?
A: You rocket!
Q: Why are spiders so smart?
A: They can fi nd everything on the web!
Q: What are mummies’ favorite lunches?
A: Wraps!
Q: How does Darth Vader like his toast?
A: On the dark side!
Pe’Pa is having a SALE to promote his just published volume 4 – “Pe’Pa’s Beast Kids Jokes” and he needs some 5 Star Reviews.
We have just reduced the price of the kindle version of my new “KID’S” joke book from $9.00 to 99 cents in the hope that you will like it so much that you will write a “Book Review” for me an Amazon.com.
Go to Amazon.com. Click on the book cover. Select the Kindle version and buy for 99 ₵. Scroll to the bottom of the page and write a review for me.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for your kids.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on my other joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please also review Volumes 1, 2, & 3.
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
-
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up?
99 cents for ALL “Pe’Pa’s” JOKE BOOKS
Message Therapy
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground, and rolled around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.
“Please allow me to help. I’m a massage therapist, and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me,” she told him.
“Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,” the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants, and put her hands inside.
She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, “How does that feel?”
He replied, “It feels great. But I still think my thumb’s still broken!”
Q&A
Q. Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon?
A. Decent food, but no atmosphere.
Q. What is the chiropractor’s favorite music?
A. Hip-pop.
Rose
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”
The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?”
The first man thought and thought and finally said,
“What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that’s red and has thorns.”“Do you mean a rose?”
“Yes, that’s the one,” replied the man.
He then turned toward the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”
Q&A
Q. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up?
A. It was “two-tired.”
Q. What did the policeman say to his hungry stomach?
A. Freeze. You’re under a vest.
*****************************************************************************************************
Pe’Pa is having a SALE to promote ALL of his “Pe’Pa’s Beast Jokes” to receive some 5 Star Reviews.
Go to Amazon.com. Click on the book cover. Select the Kindle version and buy. Scroll to the bottom of the page and write a review for me.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for yourself.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on ALL joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please also review Volumes 1, 2, 3, & 4.
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
-
Why can’t you trust tacos?
99 cents for NEW “KIDS” JOKE BOOK
Q: Why did the man go to the yogurt museum?
A: To get a little culture!
Q: Why couldn’t the sesame seed climb up the hill?
A: Because it was on a roll!
Q: Why can’t you trust tacos?
A: Because they always spill the beans!
Q: Wow come no one picks statistics as their favorite
subject?
A: It’s just average.
Q: Why did two 4s skip dinner?
A: Because they already 8!
Q: Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid
of negative numbers?
A: He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them!
Q: What did the triangle feel sorry for the circle?
A: Because it’s pointless!
Pe’Pa is having a SALE to promote his just published volume 4 – “Pe’Pa’s Beast Kids Jokes” and he needs some 5 Star Reviews.
We have just reduced the price of the kindle version of my new “KID’S” joke book from $9.00 to 99 cents in the hope that you will like it so much that you will write a “Book Review” for me an Amazon.com.
Go to Amazon.com. Click on the book cover. Select the Kindle version and buy for 99 ₵. Scroll to the bottom of the page and write a review for me.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for your kids.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on my other joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please also review Volumes 1, 2, & 3.
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
-
A women teed off and watched in horror as…….
99 cents for ALL “Pe’Pa’s” JOKE BOOKS
Message Therapy
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground, and rolled around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.
“Please allow me to help. I’m a massage therapist, and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me,” she told him.
“Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,” the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants, and put her hands inside.
She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, “How does that feel?”
He replied, “It feels great. But I still think my thumb’s still broken!”
Q&A
Q. Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon?
A. Decent food, but no atmosphere.
Q. What is the chiropractor’s favorite music?
A. Hip-pop.
Rose
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”
The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?”
The first man thought and thought and finally said,
“What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that’s red and has thorns.”“Do you mean a rose?”
“Yes, that’s the one,” replied the man.
He then turned toward the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”
Q&A
Q. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up?
A. It was “two-tired.”
Q. What did the policeman say to his hungry stomach?
A. Freeze. You’re under a vest.
**********************************************************************************************************
Pe’Pa is having a 99 cent SALE to promote ALL of his “Pe’Pa’s Beast Jokes” to receive some 5 Star Reviews.
Go to Amazon.com. Click on the book cover. Select the Kindle version and buy. Scroll to the bottom of the page and write a review for me.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for yourself.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on ALL joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please also review Volumes 1, 2, 3, & 4.
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
-
Q: Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who?
99 cents for NEW “KIDS” JOKE BOOK
Q: Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who?
A: Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
Q: Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who?
A: Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!
Q: Knock, knock. Who’s there? An interrupting cow.
A: An interrupt—MOO!
Q: Knock, knock. Who’s there? Owls go. Owls go who?
A: That’s right!
Q: Knock, knock. Who’s there? A little old lady. A
little old lady who?
A: Hey, I didn’t know you could yodel!
Q: Knock, knock. Who’s there? Nana. Nana who?
A: Nana your business!
Q: Knock, knock. Who’s there? Toodle Toodle who?
A: Toodle-loo!
Pe’Pa is having a SALE to promote his just published volume 4 – “Pe’Pa’s Beast Kids Jokes” and he needs some 5 Star Reviews.
We have just reduced the price of the kindle version of my new “KID’S” joke book from $9.00 to 99 cents in the hope that you will like it so much that you will write a “Book Review” for me an Amazon.com.
Go to Amazon.com. Click on the book cover. Select the Kindle version and buy for 99 ₵. Scroll to the bottom of the page and write a review for me.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for your kids.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on my other joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please also review Volumes 1, 2, & 3.
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
-
What kind of key opens a banana?
99 cents for NEW “KIDS” JOKE BOOK
Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
A: A mon-key!
Q: What does garlic do when it gets hot?
A: It takes its cloves off!
Q: What happens when a grape gets run over crossing
the street?
A: A traffi c jam!
Q: Where does fruit go on vacation?
A: Pear-is!
Q: Why did the melons choose not to get married?
A: Because they cantaloupe!
Q: What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?
A: Yellow!
Q: What does a cow call an earthquake?
A: A milkshake!
Pe’Pa is having a SALE to promote his just published volume 4 – “Pe’Pa’s Beast Kids Jokes” and he needs some 5 Star Reviews.
We have just reduced the price of the kindle version of my new “KID’S” joke book from $9.00 to 99 cents in the hope that you will like it so much that you will write a “Book Review” for me an Amazon.com.
Go to Amazon.com. Click on the book cover. Select the Kindle version and buy for 99 ₵. Scroll to the bottom of the page and write a review for me.
THIS IS IMPORTANT BECAUSE:
- Reviews convince browsers to buy.
- It will move up the rankings and get promoted under “Books You Might Also Like”.
- It will show that activity is taking place.
Consider buying a paperback copy for your kids.
Buy a paperback copy of all four of my books to place on your coffee table to entertain your guests.
I have temporally reduced the Kindle price on my other joke books from $6.00 to 99 cents as a “Review” incentive.
Please also review Volumes 1, 2, & 3.
Thank in advance for all Your Help.
Pe'Pa's Best Jokes
I am now in my eightieth year. I’ve liked telling jokes since I was a youth. I guess, basically, I like making people laugh. When I first moved to Florida, I used to go every Saturday night to an Italian restaurant around the corner from my condo—not so much for the great food, but because of the pretty blond waitress. Her name was Sasha, and she had the sexiest Russian accent. She was fifty years too young for me, but a guy can dream. One night I told her my talking dog story: A man was walking down the street, and he saw a dog on somebody’s front lawn. Next to the dog was a sign. It said Talking Dog for Sale. The man looked at the sign, looked at the dog, and said, “I don’t believe it.” The dog spoke up and said, “Oh yes, it’s true. I’ve been able to speak since I was just a pup. A matter of fact, I’ve had a long career as a spy. They ship me off to conferences. I sit in the corner like I’m taking a nap, and I remember everything and come back and tell my handlers.” The guy said, “That’s fantastic. Why are they selling you?” The dog said, “I don’t know.” The guy went up to the door and knocked. Somebody came. The guy said, “Is this your dog?” The man said, “Yes.” The man asked, “How much do you want for him?” “Ah, you can have him for twenty dollars.” “Twenty bucks for a talking dog? Why so cheap?” the man asked. The owner said, “That dog’s a liar. He’s never been out of the front yard.” When I got to the part about the dog saying, “Oh yes, it’s true. I’ve been able to speak since I was just a pup,” Sasha held up her hand and said, “Is this a true story?” I haven’t dreamed about her since, and I haven’t been back to that restaurant again. I’ve tried to make this book G-rated. Although I like a good dirty joke, I have resisted including them here. I’ve also eliminated any jokes that might be considered racist, and I have stopped telling them. I hope that you enjoy this book. If you can improve on any of my jokes, let me know, and I might include your improvements in my next edition. Also, if you want to share a favorite joke, please send it to me. My e-mail address is ProValueBooks@outlook.com.
Pe'Pa's Best Jokes 